Mixed
I’ve got a lot going on in my head this week.
I’m still having trouble with the whole “everyone I know is pregnant phenomenon.” I don’t want to hear about it. But pregnancy has been one of my favorite subjects ever since I hit adolescence, so I’m really conflicted about it.
Yesterday I had another good moment of finding unexpected comfort and solidarity in my circumstances from another coworker.
I’ve never been so glad (and probably never will be again) upon the arrival of my monthly visitor! (See? Exclamation point!) Not even when I didn’t want to get pregnant. I haven’t had this particular visitor since July 31, and was happy that it took just under 5 weeks post-D&C. It actually really helped temper my usual Monday blues.
I miss being pregnant. I liked it, despite the weirdness, fatigue & nausea. I was really looking forward to having a belly, and I would have had one by now.
I’m nervous about getting pregnant again. Not that it won’t happen right away, but that it will take TOO long. But mostly because it just means at least three months of worrying about the outcome and not being able to count on having a healthy baby.
